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The Healing Place: A Visualisation Practice for When You Need Soothing
A gentle note before we begin: I’m going to share something a very dear colleague of mine – Dr Melissa Harte – invented – called Safe Place and Grounding. It’s a visualisation I use all the time in therapy, to support grounding, self-soothing and emotional safety....
Do You Have Really Intense Emotions? Here’s What’s Really Going On
Do you ever have overwhelming feelings or reactions that seem out of proportion to what’s actually happening in the moment? Maybe you feel so many emotions all at once it’s hard to know what you’re feeling, they are just all so intense it’s too much. Or someone might...
You’re Not Broken: Healing from Relational Trauma
You're not broken. You're not a failure. You don’t need fixing. If you feel like there's something wrong with you, that's not the truth—it's a sign that you’ve experienced relational trauma in your childhood. Relational trauma happens when the people that are supposed...
How EFT Helps You Heal Trauma by Fully Experiencing Your Emotions
In EFT (Emotion-Focused Therapy), we heal trauma by helping you fully experience the emotions of the original traumatic event. That probably sounds pretty daunting (and traumatic!). Let me explain. The reason this process isn’t actually as daunting as it sounds—and,...
The Crushing Weight of Worthlessness: How Shame Comes to Define Us
You are not inherently worthless. Worthlessness is a feeling you’ve learned through your experiences. It takes root within relationships with others, or a lack of relationships with others, it is born in relational trauma. Do any of these statements feel familiar? "I...
Emotion Regulation and Trauma: Why It Feels So Hard to Manage Your Emotions
If you’ve experienced relational trauma, emotion regulation may be something you really struggle with. Emotion regulation is being able to acknowledge and accept your feelings, to make sense of them without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down, and to respond in a...
Self-Worth Part 2 – How Do I Feel Worthy Enough?
It is possible! Feeling worthy enough now, is about knowing that your worth as a human is not tied to anything external, deeply internalising that you are enough, now, simply for being human. This deep knowing can be achieved in various ways. Obviously I am biased and...
Self-Worth Part 1 – Why You’re Already Enough
One therapy goal that comes up consistently with clients, is a wish for better self-esteem, self-worth, or self-love. The thinking seems to be that this quality needs to be gotten somehow, or more of it needs to be obtained, or built in some way. This thinking makes...
The Complexity of Loving Someone Who Hurt You
When we are kids, we should grow up within an atmosphere of love and safety. But when someone who is supposed to love you also causes you harm, you can become an adult who has a confusing mix of love, anger and longing towards that person. Resolving these conflicted...
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