There are certain client groups that hold a special place in my heart. Kids who present with Selective Mutism are one of those special groups for me. As a child, though I never had selective mutism myself, I can certainly remember having a fear and trepidation of talking. So when I meet with a little one (or big one!) who has been labelled wth selective mutism, my heart feels drawn to help.

If you are reading this, you are no doubt very interested in helping your child with selective mutism and are therefore very familiar with it, so I’ll be brief. The disorder is characterised by an inability to speak (not a lack of willingness!) in certain situations. The inability is consistent, it doesn’t come and go. The child or adolescent however, may be able to speak in more comfortable situations, such as with family and friends. For a more detailed description, Psychology Today has a good article.

Full disclaimer; I am biased! But I strongly believe that Play Therapy is the ideal selective mutism treatment. First and foremost, because it does not require that the child speak! In fact if they never talk in play therapy, that’s completely ok as it is not necessarily the goal. It may well be the parent’s goal (which is perfectly fine and expected), and most typically the goal is reached; children do begin speaking in the outside world. However, in play therapy, my goal is to help kids access, through play, whatever is holding them back from talking, to process any fears that stand in the way of them speaking freely and without hesitation.

Helping kids with selective mutism through play therapy is so rewarding. The progress is obvious to everyone and the child’s delight at their newfound confidence is divine. What does it look like? I’ll give you some examples, which are a combination of the many clients I’ve seen with selective mutism.

Typically the child enters the room hesitantly. I find that kids with selective mutism are typically highly sensitive, reserved and timid. Rather than dive into the toys, they often explore the room ‘with their eyes’, looking and thinking first, before acting. Slowly they may approach a toy and touch it cautiously, maybe taking it off the shelf to play. The first few sessions are often like this; the child explores hesitantly and timidly. They need to know and feel they are safe before they take any risks. They will usually play by themselves. After some time, they will often ‘take a risk’ and start involving me in their play.

Selective mutism is one disorder where the parent and child’s goals usually align perfectly -it becomes obvious that the child’s objective is to use their voice without fear. Play therapy often starts with the child making noise without using their voice. They might bang with a hammer, or push blocks over for a noisy crash. They may also make attempts to communicate non-verbally, for example through writing or drawing pictures. The time frame varies, but I find that children will eventually start to experiment with their voice. They may get a toy and make up sound effects for the toy, like buzzing for a bee or roaring (often quietly!) for a lion, or they may make a musical instrument and verbalise the sounds for it (e.g., “do doo doo” for a trumpet). This stage is all about experimenting with making verbal noise, words are rarely used at this point. After a period of sessions, the child may then start to use made up words. They often want me to copy them at this point. Sometimes this initial verbalisation is done with whispering, at other times it is done in a full, yet quiet, voice. At this point, they may let me hear them talk to their parent in the waiting room, though they still won’t talk to me directly. The final stage in play therapy is often the verbal stage. They will start to speak in short sentences, by asking me to do things for them or telling me a simple instruction. After a period of practicing speaking in therapy sessions, parents will typically start to see large shifts in the child’s outside world, as they take this new found ability to speak at will, and begin to experiment with it in the outside world.

The power of play therapy is multifaceted, but here are some of the influences I believe to be the most powerful:

  • There is NO emphasis on talking. None. Zip. Through taking the pressure right off speaking, the child can move at their own pace, and take risks with verbalisation without fear of ‘locking themselves in’ to speak all the time.
  • The psychologist helps the child feel safe, to the very core of their being. This ‘neuroception’ of safety is a neurological state which allows the child to be completely free of threat. When all threats are removed, the child is freed up to bring their psychological issues to the surface through play.
  • The child can have fun! They get to play! Play is the most natural form of communication for children. Through play, they naturally show their inner world and their perception of the outside world. When it’s made tangible like this, the psychologist can work to help the child process and transform any fears they have. The best bit? The kids don’t even realise they are getting help for their inability to speak!

If you are interested in helping your child with selective mutism, please feel welcome to reach out to me. It doesn’t matter whether they have been diagnosed by a health professional or you just suspect it, I would love to help your child heal with play therapy. So everyone can have the privilege of seeing your child shine.

Suzanne Hall is a Registered Psychologist and Child Psychologist located in Ringwood, Victoria. She has a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and training in Child Centered Play Therapy, Synergetic Play Therapy and Emotion Focused Therapy. Suzanne treats children, adolescents and adults.

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