One of the greatest privileges of my work is to watch people come home to themselves. I feel so lucky to have discovered the particular type of trauma therapy approach I use in practice. I want to share with you how I’ve seen trauma therapy transform some of my clients.
Some people begin, almost trying to melt into the chair, shrinking back and hiding, taking up as little space as they can. Then later, they actually want to take up space; they fill the chair, not just with their body but with their energy, because their shame has melted away.
There’s one person who stays in my mind, who now has a sparkle in their eyes. I mean it, I’m not imagining it, and it’s not magic. It’s because they now look up and meet my eye gaze, and the window light catches their eyes.
Others have come in speaking so softly that I’ve had to sit closer to hear them, and often have had to ask them to repeat themselves so I can make sense of what they have said. Later, they are able to speak with their full voice, as though they feel as though they have the right to speak and have their opinions heard.
It’s common for people to be able to finally tell their partners, friends or family – “No, I don’t like that, please stop doing that“. They can set boundaries for themselves without guilt.
And others, plagued by triggers, come in and tell me how that thing that used to trigger them all the time just didn’t.
This is what healing with trauma therapy can look like. It’s subtle and huge all at once. And I’ll never stop feeling honoured to witness it. I love my job. I love helping people step into themselves.
What is trauma therapy?
Trauma therapy goes beyond just talking through your past and your problems. The main method I use involves a calm, low-stress state, which then allows you to feel the feelings that weren’t able to be felt at the time of the original trauma, because you weren’t allowed, or you were in survival mode, or for any other reason. This is important, to release trauma, unfelt feelings have to be felt, but in a safe, low-stress state.
The next element is helping you complete the trauma cycle. This means using your mind to re-engage the natural responses you couldn’t access at the time, such as fight (standing up for or protecting yourself) if you were unable to fight, or flight (running, escaping, or hiding) if you were unable to get away.
And finally, it’s about getting needs met that were not met at the time, such as needs for safety and security, love and connection, or recognition, which can be appreciation, validation, acknowledgement, recognition, etc.
This is the medicine – feeling feelings fully, taking action you couldn’t take, and getting needs met. That’s why the trauma therapy I practice can be so transformative.