TRAUMA BLOG POSTS
The Healing Place: A Visualisation Practice for When You Need Soothing
A gentle note before we begin: I’m going to share something a very dear colleague of mine – Dr Melissa Harte – invented – called Safe Place and Grounding. It’s a visualisation I use all the time in therapy, to support grounding, self-soothing and emotional safety....
Do You Have Really Intense Emotions? Here’s What’s Really Going On
Do you ever have overwhelming feelings or reactions that seem out of proportion to what’s actually happening in the moment? Maybe you feel so many emotions all at once it’s hard to know what you’re feeling, they are just all so intense it’s too much. Or someone might...
How EFT Helps You Heal Trauma by Fully Experiencing Your Emotions
In EFT (Emotion-Focused Therapy), we heal trauma by helping you fully experience the emotions of the original traumatic event. That probably sounds pretty daunting (and traumatic!). Let me explain. The reason this process isn’t actually as daunting as it sounds—and,...
The Crushing Weight of Worthlessness: How Shame Comes to Define Us
You are not inherently worthless. Worthlessness is a feeling you’ve learned through your experiences. It takes root within relationships with others, or a lack of relationships with others, it is born in relational trauma. Do any of these statements feel familiar? "I...
Emotion Regulation and Trauma: Why It Feels So Hard to Manage Your Emotions
If you’ve experienced relational trauma, emotion regulation may be something you really struggle with. Emotion regulation is being able to acknowledge and accept your feelings, to make sense of them without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down, and to respond in a...
The Complexity of Loving Someone Who Hurt You
When we are kids, we should grow up within an atmosphere of love and safety. But when someone who is supposed to love you also causes you harm, you can become an adult who has a confusing mix of love, anger and longing towards that person. Resolving these conflicted...
How to Handle Tricky Family Christmas Events
If you are one of those people where Christmas time with family does not conjure scenes of warm smiles, hugs and the warm fuzzies, or if you feel obligated to attend events where your boundaries might be ignored, you don’t feel welcomed or respected, or you just feel...
Feeling triggered and can’t come back? Try my favourite techniques
Have you ever felt like there’s no way back once you’re triggered? It can definitely feel like nothing will bring you back except time or your next therapy session. I’ve been there too. Here are some of my favourite ways to come back from being triggered: 1) Grab an...
Why Emotion-Focused Therapy Believes Emotions Come First in Trauma Healing
In the world of psychology, it’s often said that changing your thoughts will lead to emotional change. This is the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which says that by shifting our thoughts, we can influence how we feel. But what if emotions come first,...
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