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Stuck in a Toxic Relationship? It Might Be a Trauma Bond
What is a trauma bond? Have you ever stayed in a relationship that you knew was hurting you? Or felt deeply attached to someone that was causing you pain? Or found yourself unable to walk away, even when you’ve tried or known you should? Or maybe you’ve even felt...
When You’re Triggered: How to Ground, Soothe, and Come Back to Yourself
We often use the word triggered to describe moments when we feel suddenly and intensely overwhelmed — anxious, angry, scared, ashamed, or shut down — especially in response to something that doesn’t seem, on the surface, like it should cause such a strong reaction....
Feeling Too Much? It Might Be an Emotional Flashback
The word ‘triggered’ gets thrown around a lot. But what does it actually mean, and what’s really going on? Put simply, being triggered means you're having a strong emotional or physical reaction to something in the present that reminds your body of a past traumatic...
Why Do I Keep Ending Up in Relationships with People Who aren’t Good For Me?
Why do we keep ending up with people who hurt us, even though we swear we won’t fall for that ‘type’ again? Sometimes, the people we are attracted to aren’t just attractive because of who they are now. They of course must be attractive to us in the present, inside...
The Healing Place: A Visualisation Practice for When You Need Soothing
A gentle note before we begin: I’m going to share something a very dear colleague of mine – Dr Melissa Harte – invented – called Safe Place and Grounding. It’s a visualisation I use all the time in therapy, to support grounding, self-soothing and emotional safety....
Do You Have Really Intense Emotions? Here’s What’s Really Going On
Do you ever have overwhelming feelings or reactions that seem out of proportion to what’s actually happening in the moment? Maybe you feel so many emotions all at once it’s hard to know what you’re feeling, they are just all so intense it’s too much. Or someone might...
You’re Not Broken: Healing from Relational Trauma
You're not broken. You're not a failure. You don’t need fixing. If you feel like there's something wrong with you, that's not the truth—it's a sign that you’ve experienced relational trauma in your childhood. Relational trauma happens when the people that are supposed...
How EFT Helps You Heal Trauma by Fully Experiencing Your Emotions
In EFT (Emotion-Focused Therapy), we heal trauma by helping you fully experience the emotions of the original traumatic event. That probably sounds pretty daunting (and traumatic!). Let me explain. The reason this process isn’t actually as daunting as it sounds—and,...
The Crushing Weight of Worthlessness: How Shame Comes to Define Us
You are not inherently worthless. Worthlessness is a feeling you’ve learned through your experiences. It takes root within relationships with others, or a lack of relationships with others, it is born in relational trauma. Do any of these statements feel familiar? "I...
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