Another wonderful book that taught me so much. Alan Downs explains how shame and anger can shape a gay man’s journey. From growing up and feeling different to empowerment through sexuality, both can be driven by internalised shame. Alan shows a pathway towards inner healing and acceptance.

Leslie Feinberg’s memoir recounts her life and the complexities and traumas of growing up with a gender expression that did not fit societal expectations. Her life journey gives a first hand account of what it was like to be gender non-conforming in the 60s, 70s and 80s; the danger, injustice and hatred she encountered, alongside the tight bonds that drove her community together. Leslie also weaves in her own gender journey and unfolding identities. (*Leslie preferred the pronouns she/zie and her/hir. I have used she/her as the most commonly recongnised of the two options.)

Leslie has generously allowed their book to be downloaded free here.

I can’t speak highly enough of this book. It’s one of the best I’ve read on transgender issues by far. Julia Serano offers much in this book. My favourites being:

• Her ‘Intrinsic Inclinations Model’ which explains the vast diversity in gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation. Her model is the best theory I have come across. Where many other models explain one marginalised group but render others invisible, Julia’s model explains and validates all diversity. It just makes sense.
• Her writing on cisgender privelege and cissexism and how it leads to trans discrimination is eye opening. This made me take a long deep look at my own prejudices.
• Finally, I was so enlightened by her writing about transmisogyny. Of course! It’s not just homophobia and transphobia that discriminates against so many from the LBGT community. Misogyny explains why effeminate gay men, femme lesbians, and transwomen in particular, can have a difficult time.

For anyone grappling with their own or others’ cissexism, for those trying to undo a lifetime of gender binary conditioning, or for anyone wanting a deeper understanding of a time when many cultures lived much more free of the confines if gender, this book is invaluable.

This book is truly brilliant! I recommend it to clients who think they may have Asperger’s, to clients who think their partner or child may have Asperger’s, and to anyone else who is interested. Author Cynthia Kim has Asperger’s herself. She explains what it is like to live with it, what it was like for her as a child, and what it is like both to be in a relationship with, and to be someone, who has Asperger’s.

I refuse to read books on ASD by people that don’t have the lived experience -I don’t want an ‘outside in’ explanation. Cynthia gives an ‘inside out’ perspective that is honest, heart warming, informative and funny. An excellent, fun, and a must read for anyone who has the privilege of being Asperger’s, or having someone with Asperger’s in their life.

There’s a huge overlap between autistic people and those who idenitify as LGBTQIA+. I’ve heard stats like 23% of those in the LGBTQIA+ community are also autistic, but don’t hold me to it, I can’t for the life of me verify that statistic. My clinical and anecdotal experience suggests it’s roughly right. Despite that, research is in its infancy.

This book is a gem. It contains many short pieces, written by autistic people, about their experiences with their diverse sexuality and gender.

Here is another old book, but a fantastic one. Do you struggle to express anger? Then this is well worth a read. It shows how we repress anger and how that takes away from empwoerment and successful relationships. It shows us how to use anger as empowrment rather than destruction and to set great boundaries.

This is not a book, it’s a blog, but it’s so great I thought it worth adding in here. Written by Julie L Hall, who wrote the Narcissist in Your Life (reviewed above), it has many many short blog posts about living with a narcissist family member, having a narcissistic parent, partner or sibling. Even if the narcissist in your life isn’t a family member, you’ll learn so much. I can’t speak highly enough of this blog. I’ve read a lot of books on narcissism, they are so dry. Each seems a regurgitation of the next, which ultimately are a rehash of the DSM. They tell you next to nothing about the lived experience of knowing and being with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. Julie L Hall gets it. She breathes life into the havoc, devastation and destruction that being close to someone who has narcissistic personality disorder can have on your life.

This is an old book, but it’s so good! Have you ever wondered why you attract the partners that you do? This book is as good as going to therapy for a few sessions 🙂 It will show you, with simple exercises, how to gain insight into why you attract the people you do, and how you can go about changing that for the better.

This is a tiny book, you can read it on a few sittings, but it’s a gem with skills that can transform your relationship with your child. I’m not exaggerating. This book will teach you how to be a mini therapist at home. It will show you how to get kids to open up and talk to you and, most importantly, how to make them feel deeply heard and understood by you. These techniques are like putting bandaids on the soul. If you can incorporate these skills into your life, it will be the greatest gift you can ever give your child.

This book is a great addition to any parent’s book shelf. It will help you to understand what’s going on in your child’s brain in regard to emotion and how to help them calm when needed. It will provide many insights which explain kids behaviours, while also giving you the tools to manage them successfully. The tools will help you build a stronger closer relationship with your child, help your child to integrate their brain and learn how to emotionally regulate.

This book is for anyone who tries to start new behaviours but struggles to maintain them. This can be anything from exercising more to tidying your desk before you leave work each night. BJ Fogg gives a simple, evidence based solution to implementing new habits and making them stick.

This book is for anyone who has an endless to do list with certain tasks or projects that never get done because you never have the time. It’s also for people who feel overwhelmed by their workload. David Allen is the guru in organisation. He’ll show you how to organise your workflow and ensure everything gets time and attention, making you feel productive and successful. I’ve tried it, it works!