If you are one of those people where Christmas time with family does not conjure scenes of warm smiles, hugs and the warm fuzzies, or if you feel obligated to attend events where your boundaries might be ignored, you don’t feel welcomed or respected, or you just feel uncomfortable, you may want to read on.
If skipping these events isn’t an option, having a self-care plan for the day might be the worst-best option -if you follow my meaning. Here are some ideas.
1. Take Small Breaks
Take bathroom breaks. Most people won’t question why you’re taking a bit longer. Use the time to reset. Do some rectangle breathing (see number 2), scroll on your phone for a moment of distraction, or simply enjoy the quiet.
2. Rectangle Breathing
Imagine a rectangle and breathe along the sides. On the short side, breathe in through your nose. On the long side, breathe audibly out through your open mouth, making an ‘aaahhhh’ noise as you do so. You will likely start off with shorter breaths. Just make each breath longer and longer, always making sure that your out breath is longer than your in breath.
3. Offer to Take the Kids to the Park
If there are kids around, volunteer to take them to the park. It will give you a break from the adults. Also, getting outside for some fresh air will help you feel more grounded and let you recharge a little.
4. Take a Post-Lunch Walk
Tell someone you’re feeling a bit off after lunch and that you’re going to take a walk to help yourself feel better. This is an easy way to get some alone time which can help ease tension or overwhelm. If someone offers to join you, it’s okay to let them know you need some alone time to clear your head.
5. Grab Something From the Servo
Suggest that you go grab more ice, extra drinks, or anything else the event might need. It’s a legitimate reason to step away for a while and enjoy a breather without questions.
6. Call a Friend
Say you need to check in on a friend who’s been struggling. You might want to tea this up with your friend prior, who of course is not struggling (hopefully). This will not only help you step away for a while but will let you connect, and maybe bitch(!) with a friend if needed.
7. Leave Early to Check on Your Pet
Set this one up early in the night, or even in the week before. Mention that your pet is unwell. Then, on the day, if things start to feel too much, say that you need to go home early to look after your pet because they’ve been feeling unwell.
After Care
Plan some aftercare time for the following day. Catch up with friends, have a movie day, read books all day, whatever is emotionally nourishing to you, make sure you do it.