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The Crushing Weight of Worthlessness: How Shame Comes to Define Us
You are not inherently worthless. Worthlessness is a feeling you’ve learned through your experiences. It takes root within relationships with others, or a lack of relationships with others, it is born in relational trauma. Do any of these statements feel familiar? "I...
Emotion Regulation and Trauma: Why It Feels So Hard to Manage Your Emotions
If you’ve experienced relational trauma, emotion regulation may be something you really struggle with. Emotion regulation is being able to acknowledge and accept your feelings, to make sense of them without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down, and to respond in a...
Self-Worth Part 2 – How Do I Feel Worthy Enough?
It is possible! Feeling worthy enough now, is about knowing that your worth as a human is not tied to anything external, deeply internalising that you are enough, now, simply for being human. This deep knowing can be achieved in various ways. Obviously I am biased and...
Self-Worth Part 1 – Why You’re Already Enough
One therapy goal that comes up consistently with clients, is a wish for better self-esteem, self-worth, or self-love. The thinking seems to be that this quality needs to be gotten somehow, or more of it needs to be obtained, or built in some way. This thinking makes...
The Complexity of Loving Someone Who Hurt You
When we are kids, we should grow up within an atmosphere of love and safety. But when someone who is supposed to love you also causes you harm, you can become an adult who has a confusing mix of love, anger and longing towards that person. Resolving these conflicted...
How to Handle Tricky Family Christmas Events
If you are one of those people where Christmas time with family does not conjure scenes of warm smiles, hugs and the warm fuzzies, or if you feel obligated to attend events where your boundaries might be ignored, you don’t feel welcomed or respected, or you just feel...
Feeling triggered and can’t come back? Try my favourite techniques
Have you ever felt like there’s no way back once you’re triggered? It can definitely feel like nothing will bring you back except time or your next therapy session. I’ve been there too. Here are some of my favourite ways to come back from being triggered: 1) Grab an...
Healing Through Connection Exploring Melissa Harte’s Expanded Focusing Task for Trauma
I am honoured to bring a deeply meaningful approach to our work together—a method I learned directly from my own psychologist and mentor, the late Melissa Harte. Melissa was not only an expert in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) but also developed what she called the...
Why Emotion-Focused Therapy Believes Emotions Come First in Trauma Healing
In the world of psychology, it’s often said that changing your thoughts will lead to emotional change. This is the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which says that by shifting our thoughts, we can influence how we feel. But what if emotions come first,...
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