Highly sensitive people (HSPs) tend to function on the extremes of both ends of the scale – when things are hard they are really hard, but when things are feeling ok, they soar at whatever they put their minds to.
Highly sensitive adults struggle with things a lot more than others because they feel things so much more intensely; an insult from a partner is taken deeply to heart, a challenge at work is much more stressful for them than it is for others, in general they have a lot more worries than others. Looking at traits of highly sensitive people is not a new area, but it’s not a popular one. Aside from Elaine Aron who has done some research in the area and written several books, there isn’t a lot more out there -apart from a lot of blog posts from HSPs themselves. In my practice, most of the adults that come to see me have highly sensitive traits. If you would like to get an idea if you are highly sensitive, you can take this questionnaire. The questionnaire will also give you an idea of some of the characteristics.
There are lots of blog posts out there which list the features of highly sensitive people, most of which regurgitate what Elaine Aron says in her website and books. In my experience, as a highly sensitive person myself and from years of treating highly sensitive people, some of these aspects include –
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Highly sensitive people have nervous systems that are more reactive than others. Winnie Dunn’s research on sensory processing has helped aid understanding in this area.
Using Dunn’s terminology, highly sensitive people have a low sensory threshold. This means that their nervous systems only need a small amount of input to become activated (as opposed to someone with a high sensory threshold, who needs a lot of input). Each of the five senses can have a different threshold for activation, so some senses may be more sensitive than others. I’ll give some examples below to explain what this may look like in everyday life –
| LOW SENSORY THRESHOLD | HIGH SENSORY THRESHOLD | |
| VISUAL | Very observant | May wear ‘loud’ clothing, big jewellery |
| TOUCH | Notices scratchy materials/tags | Tactile person, loves hugs/touch |
| SMELL | Dislikes strong smells like perfume/cologne | May frequently wear strong perfumes/collognes |
| HEARING | Prefers quiet environments | Likes music, not bothered by loud environments |
| TASTE | Prefers plain foods | Likes rich foods |
When adults have a nervous system that is easily activated, where only a small amount of sensory information is needed for it to become alert -it’s easy to see how they can become easily stressed. If a HSPs nervous system notices the body language of a friend become more hostile (something a non-HSP may not notice) then their hurtful words (stronger sensory input than a change in bodily language) activates their nervous system even more. So this person ‘feels’ the slight more than a non-HSP. Things just feel bigger -and to their nervous system, they are bigger.
Counselling and HSPs
Counselling can help HSPs! The aim is to help you increase your window of tolerance -which means, helping your nervous system tolerate more activation before it flips you into distress. For example, when you come across a stressful situation, counselling can help you tolerate higher levels of stress, so you are less likely to move into a state of feeling like you can’t cope.
As an HSP myself, I find regular counselling really helps me manage. I feel deeply affected by things that happen (which can mean I stress a lot!) I also think about things that happen deeply. Counselling can really help me make sense of my world. It helps me understand how it connects to childhood issues I have. Most importantly, it helps me resolve those issues. Nowadays I need less and less counselling. I find fewer issues come up, but I can also resolve those issues myself much more easily.