For some, the day is spent with family who feel more draining than comforting. For others, the season brings up a different kind of ache — having no one to celebrate with, or feeling invisible while everyone else seems to have a place to be.
Whichever end of that spectrum you fall on, the common thread is the same: this time of year can feel profoundly uncomfortable.
If reshaping the day completely isn’t an option, having a small plan for how you’ll look after yourself can make the day easier to get through. Think of it as creating small pockets of safety — whether you’re managing a crowded room or an empty house.
1) Take Small Breaks
If you’re with others, slip away for a bathroom break or step outside. Use the quiet to breathe and reset. If you’re spending the day alone, breaks matter too. Loneliness can make time feel heavy and still. A small pause — a change of room, a warm drink, a different chair — can soften that heaviness.
2) Rectangle Breathing
Picture a rectangle. In through your nose along the short side, out through your mouth — audibly, with an “aaahhh” — along the long side. Start with shorter breaths and let them lengthen naturally. This helps whether you’re overstimulated by people or overwhelmed by silence.
3) Time Outside
If you’re at a family event, offering to take the kids to a park gives you a moment away from adult energy. If you’re alone, going to a park or simply stepping outside can ease the sense of being shut in with your thoughts. Being around nature, movement, and fresh air can gently settle your system.
4) A Post-Lunch Walk
At a gathering, it’s an easy, non-dramatic way to step away: “I’m feeling a bit off — just going for a walk.” If you’re alone, a walk can break up the long stretch of the afternoon and help shift the emotional weight that holidays can bring.
5) A Purposeful Errand
If you’re with family, offering to duck out for ice or drinks gives you a genuine reason to step away for a moment. If you’re alone, a short drive — even without a specific destination — can create movement and a small sense of structure in a day that might otherwise feel too still.
6) Phone a Friend (or a Helpline)
If you’re overwhelmed around others, stepping away to “check in on a friend” gives you a pocket of safety. If you’re on your own and don’t have anyone available, calling a helpline can provide a sense of contact and connection. You don’t have to be in crisis to call — sometimes you just need a human voice, and that’s reason enough.
7) Anchor With Pets
If you’re with family, having a “pet to check on” can help you leave early if things get too much. If you’re at home and you have a pet, they can be a grounding presence — warmth, routine, gentle connection — all things your nervous system may be craving.
After Care
However your day unfolds — overwhelmed by people or sitting with the quiet — the next day is a chance to give yourself what Christmas couldn’t. Something nourishing. Something that restores you, even a little. A movie day, a catch-up with someone safe, a long sleep-in, reading, swimming, quiet, mess, comfort — whatever helps you come back to yourself again.